在繁忙繁忙的日常生活中，我们这些过着“正常”生活的人很容易忽视一个不同的现实——每天都有癌症幸存者勇敢地与死亡的幽灵作斗争，往往只有在他们艰苦的治疗和化疗结束后才能松一口气。这些幸存者面临着一系列独特的挑战，但许多人设法创造出一种正常的外表。有些人甚至发现自己被他们的经历改变了，演变成新的自己，使他们不可能回到诊断前的样子。公开讲述自己经历的人包括34岁的希巴·阿卜杜勒·拉赫曼(Hiba Abdul Rahman)，她勇敢地面对乳腺癌二期;42岁的Kartini Kamalul Ariffin医生与乳腺癌一期作斗争;以及73岁的萨拉米娅·哈桑(Salamiah Hassan)，她的悲惨故事通过女儿阿提利亚·哈伦(Atilia Haron)的眼睛分享。每一位女性都体现了韧性和勇气，让人们看到了生存的力量。
学习一门关于悲伤- HIBA
希巴·阿卜杜勒·拉赫曼
A cancer survivor for nine years where the coming February would conclude ten years, Hiba surprised the audiences during her talk at a breast cancer awareness event with the amount of positivity she endured along with the painful moments not everyone could imagine.
At the age of 25, she got diagnosed with stage two breast cancer where she highlighted the journey of mainly redefining grief in her life.
Initially dismissed as a simple lump, it wasn’t until bleeding from her nipple - a symptom incongruous with explanation for breastfeeding women (Hiba does not have children) - that the true nature of the lump was finally recofnised.
The fight against cancer wasn’t limited to just the disease itself. Brutal side effects from the treatment forced Hiba to endure three laparatomy surgeries and a medication changed that caused such severe issues, she had to leave the workforce. These weren’t the only challenges - Hiba currently manages rheumatoid arthritis, entometrial hyperplasia and a canal cholesteatoma in her ear.
Having to endure the pain of losing a breast to it, she said that these brought tremendous changes in her life not just physically but also spiritually.
“Grief is not just when somebody passes on, it’s when you lose a part of yourself (through breast removal), the transition from being a normal person to someone with cancer, looking back at who I used to be and making way for who I am going to become is also what I call as grief.
“I believe having only one breast still makes me a woman," she said.
Chemotherapy being one of the main causes for her pain, she further said that her main strength came from a stable familial support system along with a medical team that felt like family.
To cope with the pain of chemotherapy, she seeked solace in board games, using them as a welcome distraction from her challenges.
However, she describes experiencing “chemo brain,” a fog that leaves her struggling to enjoy everyday activities like watching television or playing video games (she was once an avid online gamer). This shift has forced her to adapt, finding joy in the simplicity of board games as she navigates this difficult chapter of her life.
“Board games have helped me a lot in improving my memory and level of understanding which not enjoying normal hobbies stopped,” she said.
Further adding to the unconditional support she got, she noted her family and friends as well as the medical team played a significant role.
“My friends and family made me forget that I was in treatment,” Hiba said.
She recounted a heart-wrenching conversation with her older sister, revealing the deep sense of helplessness that washed over her each time she contemplated Hiba's difficult situation as the youngest in the family.
“She would say that she felt helpless when being unable to ease my pain,” she told the audience.
Hiba said that though she is the youngest, she dislikes being considered spoiled and likes to spoil others instead such as her sister’s children. Her having cancer changed that but Hiba remains strong against the currents of challenges that made the normal become abnormal.
She said that being a fan of cosplays also helped her cope during the treatment phases, where she would dress up as Harry Potter characters at some hospital visits to “jazz it up.”
She brought some fun into her bald look by adding henna art to her head, spending six hours getting it all done. It was a creative way to spice things up and turn her situation into something a little more playful!
“My buttock hurts from all the sitting down and apparently, your head is a large surface area,” she said humorously.
“One time, I forgot to bring my Baymax plushie with me to my chemotherapy treatment, then the medical staff who knew me and even my house told me to go get it knowing that it was my coping mechanism,” she added.
She said that those little fun moments along with her support system, helped her tremendously in going through something as difficult as cancer.
She also said that she adopted the mindset of taking one day at a time.
She also encouraged the audience to consider the challenges faced by medical staff, who endure their own struggles while caring for cancer patients. “They’re also going through a lot, be nice to them,” Hiba said.
CANCER FREE
Being nine years cancer-free now, she is known to advocate for early detection.
“I’m the living proof of it. If I didn’t get my early detection and treatment, I would not have made it to today,” she said.
She emphasised the importance of valuing time, where surviving over time gives cancer patients confidence to go through another day. Being in such a dire situation also made her learn to ask for help where it used to be difficult to do so.
“Even as the youngest child, I don’t usually ask for help, rather, I offer it and I love doing it especially when it comes to my siblings’ kids. Now that I got sick I can’t help them anymore and have to do things for myself,” she said.
She expressed heartfelt gratitude for her caregivers, who provided her with unwavering support, even as she noticed changes within her family during her illness.
“We’ve gone a lot closer because of this journey,” she said.
She further noted positive changes in the aspect of mental health where she has learnt to love herself more and be more confident, especially in public speaking since she has been sharing her journey with a lot of people in the public.
“I used to hate public speaking, I would get cold feet and then run away, and I’m here talking about my journey and I have cancer to be thankful for that,” she said.
母爱
Kartini Kamalul Ariffin博士
Kartini分享了她从2023年2月开始的第一阶段癌症之旅，并透露她最初对她的两个孩子隐瞒了自己的诊断结果，以保护他们免受心碎。她承认这是她战斗中最具挑战性的方面。然而，她很快意识到自己低估了孩子们，孩子们对这个消息的反应比预期的要好。
“告诉他们我得了癌症是很有挑战性的，但我们经常低估我们的孩子，因为他们可以承受更多。
“我哭了，但他们一直支持我，”她说，并进一步表示，她对他们的坚韧和坚强感到惊讶。
她去医院的次数与她患癌症前的家庭出游类似，比如去购物中心、在海滩上家庭野餐或去主题公园。
“周末去医院接受放疗时，肿瘤科医生的房间就成了我家人的休息区，”她说。
她进一步说，这样的小事对癌症患者的康复之旅来说意义非凡。
她阐明了老一辈人是如何倾向于向孩子隐瞒诸如患癌症之类的事情，以免给孩子带来负担的，并敦促将突发新闻和提高对这一问题的认识正常化。
“随着我们谈论得越来越多，我觉得有必要继续分享我的经历。我母亲得了癌症，但我们一直不知道，她也因此去世了。现在，我们生活在内疚中，因为我们无法帮助我们的妈妈。”她承认，癌症患者表现得“自私”是可以理解的，因为这种疾病经常消耗他们的思想和精力，导致他们主要关注自己的生存，而不是寻求帮助。
从一个女儿的角度来看
Atilia Haron
阿提利亚同意卡尔蒂尼关于孩子的韧性的观点，她知道她的母亲在诊断后才变得更亲近，她在第一阶段就患有乳腺癌。1981年，她的母亲萨拉米娅·哈桑(Salamiah Hassan)在洗澡时感到左乳房有一个肿块，乳房x光检查结果显示她患有乳腺癌。
阿提利亚·哈伦和她的母亲萨拉米娅·哈桑。
现在已经没有癌症了，阿蒂利亚说，作为一个癌症患者的孩子，这段旅程并不容易。阿提利亚说:“从那时起，我和母亲的关系就很紧张，因为她想隐瞒这个消息，但我知道，并假装不知道。”她补充说，从那时起，她就一直在自学母亲的诊断结果。
现在，她倡导癌症治疗事业，一直在为远离癌症可能性的健康生活方式提供免费瑜伽课程，并向医疗中心和癌症协会(如吉隆坡医院的一个协会)捐款。
她最终找到了一种方法告诉她，她知道了，从那以后，他们的联系变得更加紧密了。
“我知道父母不想给孩子增加负担，但看看我现在的样子。这让我成为了一个更坚强的人。”
她进一步补充说，她也认为支持很重要，她强调了Hiba在获得外部支持的同时为实现这一目标所做的努力。
她说:“你为积极而做的小事也可能来自积极的环境。”
阿提利亚还承认，癌症患者的情绪可能会变得暴躁，她说，她母亲的情绪最明显。她说:“给她空间很重要，因为对于一个努力抚养我们的人来说，患癌症是很困难的。”
阿提利亚还承认，她对母亲最初觉得有必要对她隐瞒这个消息感到愤怒。
“医学上有很多进步，人们不应该再害怕分享了，”她说。
随着时间的推移，她了解到她的母亲是一个坚强的人。“现在，我总是和她在一起，我带她去度假，只有我们两个人，我们甚至互相借衣服穿，因为我们的尺码一样。
“我们在一起玩得很开心，我知道她正在重新开始，尤其是在她丈夫去世后。我现在想尽我所能地在她身边，就像两个单身女孩统治世界一样，”阿蒂莉亚说。
尽管癌症患者经历了灾难，但他们的生存故事仍然存在于那些经历同样事情的人的心中。
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